Do you value other people’s opinions more than your own?
Picture this: You’re about to experience something out of your comfort zone, such as a new career move or launch a new side hustle.
Is one of your first thoughts: What is everyone else going to think?
Can you relate?
I’ve definitely had those thoughts before as well. I’m human, it happens, especially when you grow up with media that’s constantly bombarding you with opinions about other people. On social media, you’re literally striving for “likes,” aka approval from others when you post an image or video.
Or maybe this habit stems from your upbringing, specifically trying to live up to certain expectations that family members set for you.
I receive emails all the time from people who connect with me about being afraid to disappoint their parents or family members for wanting to accomplish a goal or dream that doesn’t align with what their parents want them to do.
It’s hard, but completely vital to be okay with being comfortable with making decisions for YOU, not based on other people’s expectations.
To be frank, you only have one life. Why waste it by doing something because other people are telling you to do it?
You do not have to forever rely on caring about what other people think.
The reason why you’re seeking approval from others?
You crave external validation.
You cannot find approval within yourself in order to confidently make decisions to reach your goals.You do not have to forever rely on caring about what other people think. Click To Tweet
The good news? You don’t have to accept those fears.
You don’t have to accept that you constantly care about what other people think.
If you’re scared about how other people will react when you start making decisions for yourself instead of what they expect from you, it’s okay. It’s going to be challenging at first when everyone in your life is used to you living by their own status quo.
Making decisions for yourself for the first time will make other people uncomfortable, but always remember this:
The people in your life that truly care about you, will eventually understand.
If they genuinely want the best for you and want to see you happy, they might feel uncomfortable at first or even express anger when you start going against what they view is “right” for you, but they will eventually move passed their own personal emotions and support you.
Anyone who doesn’t accept it, tries to manipulate you to think otherwise, or will not let it go do not have your best intentions in mind. In fact, I highly recommend rethinking having this type of person in your life. It’s vital for your mental health, your overall well-being and your approach to life to not have toxic relationships that try to bring you down when you’re simply trying to live a life that feels right for YOU.
So with all of this in mind, let’s dive into exactly WHY other people’s opinions don’t matter.
Opinions from Other People are Reflections of Themselves, Not Your Truth
What happens when someone asks for your opinion? You take your own experiences, emotions, and beliefs to form your own opinion.
The same happens when you approach other people, or when other people give you their unsolicited opinions. They’re simply projecting everything about their own lives onto whatever you’re doing in your life.
How does that validate your decisions as right or wrong?
How does that determine they’re allowed to tell you what to do and how to think?
This goes for good opinions too! In fact, I don’t even recommend labeling opinions as “good” or “bad” because opinions are simply opinions – they’re only good or bad when you put your OWN weight and judgement on them.
You Seek Validation for What You Already Believe
Whenever you succumb or agree to an opinion, aren’t those opinions usually just validations of what you were already thinking? Whether negative or positive?
You’re truly looking for external validation, when in reality you need to provide that for yourself.
If you’re caught in this cycle and are having trouble finding approval from within, ask yourself these three questions next time you notice you’re worrying about someone else’s opinion:
- What do I think?
- Why do I care about their opinion?
- Does it REALLY matter?
Truly decide if this opinion is what really matters to you in the grand scheme of your life.
If you’re having trouble breaking free from these habits, then unlock access to my free Self-Discovery Toolkit for People-Pleasers, filled with workbooks, masterclasses, and other resources to help you finally stop caring about what other people think, and discover what YOU truly want.