When I say the word “self-confidence,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Usually, your first instinct would be picturing someone who feels good about themselves. Maybe they don’t care what anyone else thinks and believes in themselves.
Now when I ask you, “How do you become self-confident?” What’s your first reaction?
There is so much more to self-confidence than what you usually hear in the media, which is typically focused on feeling good about the way you look. Self-confidence is an ongoing and consistent journey, filled with highs and lows. There is no one set path towards self-confidence, but twists and turns along the way when you least expect it.
While it may be hard to believe, not a single person on this planet is self-confident 100% of the time. Even the star of your favorite show or the impressive businessmen you see around town experience self-doubt and struggle with confidence every once in a while. The difference between you and everyone else is what exactly you’re struggling with when it comes to your self-confidence, and how exactly you handle those unexpected low moments.
If you’re having a hard time building your confidence levels and overall self-esteem, start focusing on the following key factors that directly impact your self-esteem. (I like to call them the “Pillars of Self-Confidence!”)
Start small and focus on one or two of these pillars, and notice how much better you feel about yourself as you start to improve and grow!
Recognize Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Many may believe that having a strong sense of self-confidence means focusing on your strengths and using them as much as possible. However, if you ignore your weaknesses, you’ll never have a full sense of your entire self and your potential.
It’s hard to truly understand who you are and how you can grow if you aren’t aware of the areas that may need a little more attention. When you’re truly self-aware, you can embrace all of your imperfections, and take the time to work on improving yourself in these areas. Plus, these weaknesses make you human. Everyone has them, so there’s no reason to ignore or feel ashamed of these parts of who you are!
Take Pride In Yourself
Can you really be self-confident if you aren’t proud of yourself? Feeling proud of yourself is often very difficult for someone who struggles with self-confidence. However, there’s so much you can be proud of—even if you don’t realize it yet! You’re here, right? You’re taking the time to learn and grow by choosing to read this blog post. You might be rolling your eyes, but it’s truly an accomplishment to take that step.
Having a sense of pride in yourself will push you forward when times get tough, allowing you to believe that you have what it takes in order to overcome these challenges. After all, how can you face these difficult roadblocks if you don’t believe in yourself?
While self-care practices are primarily seen as a part of improving your health, they also play an important part in building your self-confidence. Self-love is an integral part of self-care, expressing kindness and appreciation for yourself by nurturing your body, mind, and soul in ways that leave you feeling rejuvenated.
The foundation of self-care is treating yourself with the kindness and respect you deserve. It’s about listening to your body, mind, and heart and paying attention to what they crave. You may think of it as each part having its own bucket. When these buckets are full, you feel full. When you’re filling these buckets regularly, you simply feel more confident, and have a much higher chance of achieving your dreams.
If you’re struggling to get started with self-care, sign up for my free 5-day Self-Care for Busy Millennials ecourse! It’ll help you build important foundations in order to truly connect with what your mind, body, and soul crave with self-care.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Something you must learn is how incredibly important and unselfish it is to cut ties with toxic relationships. Whether platonic, romantic, or anywhere in between, your relationships should lift you up, not tear you down. Plus, how on earth are you going to build your self-confidence if you allow others to pull you the other direction?
Sometimes toxic relationships are obvious, sometimes they are subtle. You might not even realize that you’re experiencing a negative relationship. Some signs of these relationships include major highs and anxiety-ridden lows, consistently having personal boundaries crossed, and feeling like you’re putting much more effort and care into the relationship than the other person. If any of this sounds familiar, it’s time to consider if the relationship is actually a healthy one.
It may not be easy. In fact, cutting negative people out of your life is probably one of the hardest things you will do for yourself. However, doing so is absolutely worth it.
Life is too short to spend time on negative people. There are plenty of positive, beautiful people just waiting to help you feel even more amazing!
In order to fully feel confident in yourself, you can’t be afraid of failure. Sure, it feels great when everything works out perfectly the first time, but the truth is that failure comes with success. One quote, by author and journalist Arianna Huffington, that expresses this concept perfectly is, “Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s a part of success.”
Failing helps you learn, ultimately bringing you closer to success. You learn more about what you’re trying to achieve, your capabilities, and what you need to do or improve in order to reach your goals. What’s more empowering than embracing this?
One of the best pieces of advice for embracing failure is to shift your mindset about your approach to your goal. Instead of striving for perfection every step of the way, try viewing what you’re working on as an experiment.
There is no such thing as perfection when you’re experimenting with something! Sure, you can achieve success in your experiment, but nothing is perfect. Each experiment is conducted with the intention to learn from the result—both good and bad.
Start with just one day at a time. The more you enjoy the experiments, the more confident and awesome you’ll feel about what you can accomplish.
I go into more detail and even include two additional self-confidence pillars in my brand new book, I’m Awesome. Here’s Why…! Throughout this interactive journal you can read even more information about each of the key factors to help improve your self-esteem, as well as participate in over 110 interactive prompts and journal questions to help you explore and grow throughout your self-confidence journey!
What do you do to boost your self-confidence? Let me know in the comments!